Being effective is about doing the right things and getting what is wanted. Stephen R. Covey elaborated that to be effective people, they must have the 7 habits. They are as follows:
HABIT 1 : BE PROACTIVE
Your life doesn't just "happen." Whether you know it
or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all,
are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness.
You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose
courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides
a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things
differently to produce more positive results.
Habit
1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for
your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents.
Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able."
They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning
for their behavior. They know they choose their
behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by
their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their
behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their
attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external
forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response
is your greatest power--you have the freedom to choose your response. One of
the most important things you choose is what you say. Your
language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person
uses proactive language - I can, I will, I prefer,
etc. A reactive person uses reactive language - I can't, I have to, if
only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and
do--they have no choice.
Instead
of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no
control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can
control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two
areas - Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.
Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of
Influence. They work on the things they can do something about:
health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the
Circle of Concern - things over which they have little or no control: the
national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in
which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.
HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
So,
what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little
trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you want to be,
what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest.
Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty--successes
that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If
your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you
to the wrong place faster.
Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at
present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second)
creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building
follows a blueprint. If you don't make a conscious effort to visualize who you
are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances
to shape you and your life by default. It's about connecting again with your
own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines
within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task,
or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and
then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.
One
of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal
Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to
be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts
your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission
statement makes you the leader of your own life. You
create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
To
live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything
that comes along is okay. There's no need to overextend yourself. All it takes
is realizing that it's all right to say no when necessary and then focus on
your highest priorities.
Habit
1 says, "You're in charge. You're the
creator." Being proactive is about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or
mental creation. Beginning with the End in
Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is the second creation, the
physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1
and 2 come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It
deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But
that's not all it's about. Habit 3 is about life
management as well--your purpose, values, roles, and priorities. What
are "first things?" First things are
those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things
first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the
personal priorities you established in Habit 2.
HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
Think
Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and
collaboration.
Most
of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think
about succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I win, you lose;
or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie
to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it's not fair,
and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore. We all play the game, but how
much fun is it really?
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one.
Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in
all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually
beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty
darn good!
A
person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three
vital character traits:
Integrity : sticking with your true feelings, values,
and commitments
Maturity : expressing your ideas and feelings with
courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
Abundance
Mentality : believing
there is plenty for everyone
Many
people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win
requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and
consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you
also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive,
you also have to be brave. To do that--to achieve that balance between courage
and consideration--is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to
win-win.
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Communication is the most important skill in life.
You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to
speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to
listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none,
right?
If
you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to
get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person
completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts
of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss
the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with
the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare
in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask,
etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame
of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it
measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person
means before he/she finishes communicating. Do any of the following sound
familiar?
"Oh,
I know just how you feel. I felt the same way." "I had that same
thing happen to me." "Let me tell you what I did in a similar situation."
Because
you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four
ways:
Evaluating : You judge and then either agree or
disagree.
Probing : You ask questions from your own frame
of reference.
Advising : You give counsel, advice, and solutions
to problems.
Interpreting : You analyze others' motives and behaviors
based on your own experiences.
You
might be saying, "Hey, now wait a minute. I'm just trying to relate to the
person by drawing on my own experiences. Is that so bad?" In some
situations, autobiographical responses may be appropriate, such as when another
person specifically asks for help from your point of view or when there is
already a very high level of trust in the relationship.
HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE
To
put it simply, synergy means "two heads are
better than one." Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation.
It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to
old problems. But it doesn't just happen on its own. It's a process, and
through that process, people bring all their personal experience and expertise
to the table. Together, they can produce far better results that they could
individually. Synergy lets us discover jointly things we are much less likely
to discover by ourselves. It is the idea that the whole is greater than the sum
of the parts. One plus one equals three, or six, or sixty--you name it.
When
people begin to interact together genuinely, and they're open to each other's
influence, they begin to gain new insight. The capability of inventing new
approaches is increased exponentially because of differences.
Valuing differences is what really drives synergy.
Do you truly value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among
people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with you so you could all get
along? Many people mistake uniformity for unity; sameness for oneness. One
word--boring! Differences should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add
zest to life.
HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW
Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest
asset you have--you. It means having a
balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical,
social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of
activities:
Physical : Beneficial eating,
exercising, and resting
Social/Emotional : Making social and meaningful connections
with others
Mental : Learning, reading,
writing, and teaching
Spiritual : Spending time in nature,
expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service
As
you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in
your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the
other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the
challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind
mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish.
Not a pretty picture, is it?
Feeling
good doesn't just happen. Living a life in balance
means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. It's all up to you.
You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out
by overdoing everything. You can pamper yourself mentally and spiritually. Or
you can go through life oblivious to your well-being. You can experience
vibrant energy. Or you can procrastinate and miss out on the benefits of good
health and exercise. You can revitalize yourself and face a new day in peace
and harmony. Or you can wake up in the morning full of apathy because your
get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone. Just remember that every day provides a new
opportunity for renewal--a new opportunity to recharge yourself instead of
hitting the wall. All it takes is the desire,
knowledge, and skill.
